


Untitled (for now)

by Ktxitx



Category: BTOB
Genre: A bit sad too, M/M, and that's pretty much it, baby sungjae is cute but bold, but i like sad so there's sad, but it doesn't stay that sad, i went far away with that one, some au where they pretty much all live in the same neighbourhood, this is cutesy cute stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-19 11:30:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14872967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ktxitx/pseuds/Ktxitx
Summary: I'm way to lazy to think about what to put as a summary... you'll get surprised!(in my defense, I am somewhat sleep-deprived these days)





	1. Chapter 1

Sungjae was sulking, it was Eunkwang's 13th birthday party and all of the kids had once again left him out of their games, you see, Sungjae was the youngest among all of his mom's friend group kids, and they always said he was too small to play with them, even when they let Ilhoon, who was not even a year older than him. He was even sadder that he had received a letter from his best friend in the whole world, Peniel, the day before, and the latter was telling him that he probably wasn't going to go to his grandma for Christmas so they wouldn't be able to see each other before the summer.

Peniel lived in America with his parents, and they only went here (where his grandma lived) when they were on vacations, long ones. Peniel had been sending letters for some years, back when Sungjae couldn't read, his mom or his big sister would read them to him and write his reply, then he had learned to read and write, and though his mom still helped him with the writing and everything, it felt great being able to keep his best friend's letter to himself.   
But he was very sad, he felt the tears coming, he really wanted to see his friend.

He got startled when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he quickly wiped his tears and looked behind and saw his new worst enemy. Lee Changsub. That kid had moved in the neighborhood around two months ago, and everybody liked him. But Sungjae didn't. Ever since he had come along, all the older kids would play with him and not with Sungjae.  
\- Go away! Leave me alone you friend stealer!!

Sungjae had stood up, ready to chase him away. He knew that the others all liked him because he was a nice kid, and very friendly. But once Yook Sungjae has set his mind on something, it is set forever.

Peniel wasn't the only one Sungjae liked really much, he loved Eunkwang too, and Minhyuk, and everyone he had known since he was born, but these days, Eunkwang and Hyunsik would always play with Lee Changsub and not with him, and even Ilhoon, who was a very bratty kid (Sungjae and Ilhoon fought a lot, and since Ilhoon was very small for his age, Sungjae looked older, and usually won) had been playing more with him than with Sungjae. 

Sungjae had been mean to Changsub ever since they met, about a month ago, at Ilhoon's 9th birthday party. Sungjae had stuck his tongue out to him and ran away before his mom could scold him for being rude.

Changsub noticed Sungjae's tears and asked him if he was crying, Sungjae had a cry of rage and pushed him with all of his 8-year-old strength to the ground, shouting that he hated him, and then he ran away.

When they saw each other again a week later at Minhyuk's birthday party, Sungjae reluctantly went to apologize (only because his mom had forced him to) and went to play with the girls because the older boys had once again decided he was too young to play with them. Playing with the girls meant being ordered around by his big sister all day long, but it was better than being alone, and it made him not think about the fact that he wouldn't see his best friend until summer.

Christmas passed and Sungjae had cried a lot, and sulked, and cried again, and his mom had called all of his other friends home to make him think about other things, and so Sungjae had used Lee Changsub as a scapegoat (he didn't want to be mean to the other kids, he had known them for too long and he knew they would fight back), and though his mom made him (forced him to) apologize each time he was bad, he would always stick his tongue out to Changsub whenever their moms weren't looking, Changsub on the other hand, had started calling him "Crybaby" ever since Eunkwang's birthday party, and it annoyed Sungjae a lot.

In February, he was invited to Lee Changsub's 13th birthday party and threw a tantrum because he didn't want to go, but his mother said that he would, first because he didn't have any reasons not to and because she wasn't home on that day so it was better than hiring a babysitter, so his sister and him went anyway, and Sungjae was even madder when he went home because it _had_ to be the only birthday party where he was included in all the games, even those where the others usually said he was too small.

On Hyunsik's 12th birthday party, Sungjae had a lot of fun because Lee Changsub was sick so he hadn't been able to come, which had made Hyunsik sad, but Sungjae had been overjoyed about it. And his mom was happy too because it was the first birthday party where he had behaved well in a while. 

He threw a huge tantrum when his mom invited Lee Changsub to his 9th birthday party. It was probably the biggest tantrum he had ever thrown and his dad had to raise his voice a lot to calm him down (which only rarely happened, his father was a very composed person) and Sungjae had had to resign to invite his worst enemy.  
He overheard his mom and Lee Changsub's mom talking about how they didn't understand why Sungjae was like that with the older boy, and it only made things worse for Changsub, who had given up on trying to understand why Sungjae hated him so much.  
However, Sungjae was very happy during his birthday party, because he had learned that Peniel, his best friend in the all world would come to his grandma's house from the beginning of June to the end of August, it was a lot of days to spend playing together.

Peniel was really the best, he was 11 now but he kept on sending letters to Sungjae and he was always so nice. And when he was at his grandma, he would always either invite Sungjae over, either come play at Sungjae's house, and it was great.

June finally came and Sungjae was a ball of excitement all the time, he hadn't seen Peniel since last summer, and they had a great time playing, they stuck together for the whole summer, and Peniel even tried to hate Lee Changsub for Sungjae's sake, but though he tried really hard, after talking with him for two minutes, he told Sungjae he couldn't hate him, and that he was very sorry about it.  
Sungjae sulked for a whole day but after that, he decided that Lee Changsub wouldn't keep him from playing with his best friend so he told Peniel it didn't matter.

When Peniel left had the end of August, Sungjae cried a lot, his mom didn't know how to console him anymore and so Sungjae went back to hating Lee Changsub with all his might, which made his mom sad because he was very nice to the other kids.

_Sungjae's 14th birthday:_

Sungjae was really happy, his mother had not invited the whole neighbourhood for once.  
Peniel hadn't been able to come but it was alright, now, Sungjae was a teenager and he could wait to see him in the summer. Plus, Peniel was 16 now, and he was still his best friend, and his parents were discussing him going to university here, which meant they wouldn't be so far apart in like, two or three years...

Only the people that mattered, and Lee Changsub (his mother had once again insisted to invite him, and though it really displeased Sungjae, he came every year, it seemed he enjoyed bothering Sungjae...), had come to his birthday. Sungjae had decided that from next year on, it would be grown-ups like birthday parties, next, he definitely wouldn't let Lee Changsub in! (though... he hated to admit it, but as always, Changsub was the best at offering the right gift).  
He was still very glad Minhyuk and Eunkwang had come, they had always come to his birthdays ever since he was a little kid, and even though they were 18 now, and in their first year at University, they had still come so he was happy. He was kind of sad that they may not come from the next year on, because they would be too busy with university then. But at least Hyunsik and Ilhoon would still be there so it'd be alright.

_Sungjae's 16th birthday:_

Sungjae was really happy, though he was celebrating his birthday a bit late, everyone was here, Peniel was now living at his grandma's house, and they saw each other all the time, it was great!   
And everybody else was there too, all of his friends, and once again, he had succeeded in not having Lee Changsub here! (it wasn't that hard, he was attending university in another city. But Sungjae had to admit it, it felt kind of weird celebrating his birthday without him...) So everything was really great!

_A few months later:_

It was the end of summer, as he was starting a new semester of High School, he met someone he hadn't seen in a while in a convenience store near the school, lazily cleaning.  
\- ...Lee Changsub?

Sungjae had a moment of shock, he wasn't used to see him with his glasses on so he had had a moment of doubt, and his hair was shorter than. they usually were, but he was sure of it now, this was definitely Lee Changsub...   
Changsub turned to him and greeted him, flashing his eternal friendly smile:  
\- Hello!

Sungjae immediately glared at him, since the guy had went away study in another city, he hadn't seen him in more than a year, and the only thing he said was "hello"? Sungjae was mad. Like really.   
\- What are you doing here? It was better when you were away!   
Sungjae had mumbled the second part, but was still being very rude, but he didn't care, the latter flashed an other friendly smile before answering, it seemed he hadn't heard what Sungjae had just said:  
\- I came back here a few days ago, this is my part-time job.

Sungjae just nodded and walked away, he didn't want anything to do with that guy, but he still got curious, the others had kept contact with him (and he had sent some texts to Sungjae, stuff like birthday and other special occasion wishes, but now that he thought about it, Changsub hadn't sent anything since his birthday) but no one had told him he was back in town... not that he cared, he was happy without the annoying Lee Changsub around, he had wanted it to stay that way.

He went to Peniel's house, as almost everyday, to do his homework there, Peniel helped with the English and Sungjae helped him, if he could, when he was struggling too. They were both working but Sungjae couldn't stay focused:  
\- I didn't know we could transfer university... - he said suddenly, Peniel raised his head, wondering what he was talking about, but he still answered the best he could, because Sungjae seemed really out of it.  
\- When it's in the middle of the semester, it's kind of hard, otherwise it's kind of easy.

Sungjae leaned his head on his hand, he really didn't care about Lee Changsub coming back to town, he was one of the few who had gotten into another city's university, so Sungjae was just curious as to why he would come back after only a year and a half... 

A few days passed and Sungjae felt like he was seeing Lee Changsub all the time. But unlike when they were little, Changsub wasn't being friendly, actually he had basically ignored Sungjae ever since that first day and Sungjae wasn't sure as to why it annoyed him so much.

As he had just gotten home and about to head straight to his room, he realized his mother was talking in the kitchen, he was surprised to find Lee Changsub's mother, she hadn't visited in a while, so it was surprising to have her here, Sungjae politely greeted her and wondered why they had stopped talking when he had entered the room, he chose not to care and was about to go upstairs when his mother said they were inviting the Lee to dinner, Sungjae sent her a pleading look, which meant: "do I have to be there?" And his mother answered with a stare that meant: "be nice!".

Sungjae sighed, it seemed he wouldn't be able to escape it... He didn't even try to argue, he knew it was hopeless, so he just headed for his room to go finish his homework.

He went down later when his mother called him to set the table, he went down and about ten minutes later, Lee Changsub's parents were there, and for a second he thought Changsub wasn't there, but it was just that he had been walking slower than them, his sister wasn't there (she had managed to get a semester abroad and he hadn't heard of her in a while). 

It was during dinner, that it struck Sungjae. The only thing Changsub had said was greeting everyone when he had arrived and responding when he was talked to, when he usually was way too talkative. Now that he thought about it, Changsub hadn't been greeting him. The friendliest guy in the world, who had greeted Sungjae by something like "Hey there crybaby!" for the past 8 years each time he saw him, hadn't been greeting him... And now he was weirdly quiet, they hadn't had a real conversation for over a year, so usual Changsub would have been pestering him with questions like "you still hate me?", "When did you grow so much?", "Do you still cry when the others don't play with you?" and a lot of other questions to which Sungjae would have answered by yes, no and why do you care?   
Something was definitely off... it seemed... it seemed Changsub was treating him as a stranger...

He then started to notice weird stuff, whenever they talked to Sungjae, they would emphasize on his name and he noticed Changsub's mother was acting the weirdest, she would glance at him all the time with a weird smile.

Something was really off. 

Sungjae didn't say anything and waited for once they had left to stare at his mother in wonder:  
\- Mom... Is there something wrong with Changsub?  
She sighed, his father looked weird too, he looked at them and she answered, after a very long blank:  
\- So you noticed...

She didn't say anything else. Leaving Sungjae with a weird feeling. He didn't force it because they seemed tensed.  
He went to his room and thought back to the previous days, though Changsub was working part time, Sungjae was pretty sure he wasn't attending university because he had went there during the week to grab lunch with Peniel, Hyunsik, Eunkwang and Minhyuk and he had never seen him, when it seemed obvious he would spend his time with his friends...   
Now that he thought about it, he hadn't seen Changsub with any of them, and none of them had talked to him about the fact that he had came back to town, it seemed they either didn't know, either deliberately did not talk about it... but after all, Sungjae had only discovered he was back a week earlier...

When he met with Ilhoon for lunch, the next day he asked about Changsub, Ilhoon had indeed seen him a few days earlier and had been met with an odd reaction. Changsub really liked Ilhoon and had a thing for trying to carry him "because he looks so cute and tiny", but when they haad seen each other, Changsub had just politely gretted back to Ilhoon's friendly greeting, he had been really surprised. He finished by concluding:  
\- It was like he didn't know me... it was really weird...

_A few days later:_

Sungjae couldn't stand it anymore, he went to the Lee's house and knocked, he knew Changsub's mother was home because she usually got off work around the same time as his mother did. She opened the door and seemed really surprised to see him, she let him in and asked if his mother needed anything and if he wanted something to drink. Sungjae politely answered no to both questions and just asked:  
\- What's going on with Changsub?

She seemed uncomfortable, she was playing with a napkin, she told Sungjae to sit, and gave him a glass of water (though he had declined it earlier), she then sat too, and said:  
\- He doesn't really like us telling about it, which I understand, but it would be much more convenient if he just let us tell everyone, that's what I've been saying but his father insists that we do as he wants... but since you're asking... Changsubie has been in a little... accident.

Sungjae was a bit afraid of what would come next. She paused, and added:  
\- It's been around 5 months now... It... It was a car accident... The doctors said he would be either slowly getting his memories back, either never. 

Sungjae felt like there was a ball in his stomach, he had not expected that... But it somehow made sense. Changsub had been really distant since he had came back to town. She seemed on the verge of crying and Sungjae didn't know what to do, she still added, her voice was shaking:  
\- We took a while to realize because... because he has no trouble recognizing family, it wasn't until the doctors told us that it seemed a lot of his memories were gone, from about when we moved here, they said he remembered some parts, but the whole picture is very blurry.

When Sungjae went back home he was shocked. The reason Changsub had been treating him as a stranger was because... he _was_ a stranger to him. It felt... weird. Though he had always claimed Lee Changsub was his worst enemy, he had never thought the other would be out of his life one day, it felt kind of empty. Changsub was annoying as hell, but he was also really nice, and the only of his friends whom Sungjae had kept all of the birthday gifts... Sungjae sighed.   
Maybe Changsub forgetting him was a good thing after, Sungjae had always been a terrible brat to him. So after a few hours of turning and tossing in his bed, trying to fall asleep, he figured he would try to meet him again, to start anew, and befriend him. Because he didn't like the idea of having a life without a Changsub to bother, and be bothered by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for writing, so I don't know what happened but I had fun (and getting their ages right was hard, like I had to calculate all the time, but it was fun).  
> And I meant thank you for reading, not writing, why would I thank myself? That doesn't make any sense!!!


	2. Chapter 2

He took action the next day. Once his classes were over, he called Peniel to tell him he might be late for their studying session, he had something to take care of. He headed straight to the convenience store and went in. Changsub was the cashier today, and he was humming to a song Sungjae didn't recognize. He took a bottle of water and went to pay for it.   
\- Hi! Remember me? You had dinner at my parents' place yesterday! I'm Yook Sungjae.

He took out his hand waiting for Changsub to shake it, the latter smiled and asked:  
\- So I guess my mother told you then?   
He added, without waiting for the answer:  
\- Are you the kid sulking on all of my birthday pictures?  
Sungjae nodded, mumbling that they weren’t the best of friends at the time, he felt a bit bad now. Changsub shook his hand:  
\- Nice to meet you, Yook Sungjae.

Sungjae realized another odd thing, Changsub seemed to be weirdly normal about this whole thing. Like it wasn't affecting him.

Sungjae went to Peniel's, trying to focus on his homework, but since neither of them were succeeding in studying, they ended up playing video games and Sungjae was happy to kick Peniel's ass (in the game). He stayed for dinner because Peniel's grandma invited him and he couldn't say no to her. He didn't have classes the next day anyway.

He had planned to spend the day playing video games, but unfortunately, his mother decided that he played too much games and that he should go out. So she chased him out of the house. He hesitated going to squat one of his friends house but ended up wandering around the neighbourhood streets. He was walking around when he noticed Lee Changsub sitting on the grass near the river, he smiled because it had always been Changsub’s favorite spot. Sungjae had noticed a long time ago that when he was sad, he would go there (so, the real reason he had discovered that was that he had once been really mean and his mother had told him that if he didn't go apologize himself now, she would go with him as if he was a baby), Sungjae went over there and sat next to him.

He wasn't sure what to say, it felt weird because Changsub used to be friendly all the time and would always greet him first, even if Sungjae would answer stuff like "don't talk to me". So he just asked how if he was doing okay. Changsub shrugged and turned to him:  
\- If you felt like a part of you had been torn off... that it's gone and you don't know if it will ever come back, and it's like you're empty, that it's like you're in a body that doesn't really belong to you anymore, do you think you'd be okay?

He had talked very quietly, Sungjae didn't know what to answer, but that felt more truthful than the friendly smiles... so he wasn't being that normal about it... Before Sungjae had came up with anything to say, Changsub asked:  
\- So why didn't you like me?

Sungjae chuckled, he had not expected that question, he figured Changsub had guessed from his behavior on any picture the both of them were in... he took his time to answer:  
\- Hum... It's kind of embarrassing actually... At first, I was jealous... I was 8 when we met, and all of the other kids liked you, so I thought they would stop playing with me. 

Sungjae was a bit embarrassed, he had never thought he would someday be explaining to Lee Changsub why he had been hating him all these years:  
\- And then, I was fixed on hating you so...

Changsub smiled, it was the first time he was smiling differently than the friendly smile, this looked more genuine, he just commented with a soft "cute", which made Sungjae even more embarrassed about the story (and because he wasn't cute! He was 16 now!). Changsub then started asking other questions, about Sungjae, how they had met and when and even about his life now, and Sungjae responded the best he could, because once Changsub had started, he had turned into a never-ending question-device.

Sungjae went back home later than he had expected, the afternoon seemed to have flew by, but at least, his mother seemed happy he had gotten some fresh hair. It didn't keep him from playing video-games as soon as he had gotten home. 

The next few days, Sungjae went information seeking, as he had thought, they all somehow knew about Changsub's little situation, Eunkwang being his best friend had been checking on him regularly from a distance, he told Sungjae about how he hated himself for being so damn scared that Changsub wouldn't remember him. Minhyuk had met with him two or three times, and Changsub had shown no signs of recognizing him, he had been very polite but Minhyuk hadn't pushed it because it was when Changsub had just came back to town, he was actually thinking about going to see him soon. Hyunsik stared blankly at Sungjae, apparently, Changsub not recognizing him had been a shock, like Sungjae, he had met him by coincidence and had not expected Changsub to not greet him, and when had gone to talk to him he had realized there was something really odd going on. And Peniel told Sungjae that since they weren't that close, he wasn't really surprised the older had not recognized him. Sungjae understood them, but decided that he would help Eunkwang, because the latter seemed to be really stressed out.

_A week later:_

Sungjae had finally succeeded in bringing Eunkwang with him to the convenience store, the latter was walking behind him, and had stopped a few times, saying that maybe he wasn't ready for this...  
They still ended up walking in and Changsub gave a friendly wave to Sungjae, and he frowned seeing Eunkwang, they didn't know whether it was good or bad, but since it seemed Changsub usually showed no reaction when he didn't remember someone, this might mean he remembered Eunkwang...  
They took a few snack and went to the cashier, Changsub's stare had been following them all the way, still frowning. Once they were standing near him he asked:  
\- We've met before, haven't we???

Eunkwang was biting his lips (probably from nervousness) and froze, probably not having expected that question, after what felt like hours he nodded.   
He closed his eyes and rubbed his temple, it seemed he was trying to remember something:  
\- Did we ever pretend we were a couple to have free tickets to a fun fair, which we regretted when we went in because it was all couple related?

Eunkwang smiled, a huge grin, he leaned on the counter:  
\- It was last year, and we were both very, very, very drunk... I had visited you for the weekend... a wild weekend...

Sungjae smiled, this was good, this was progress... though Changsub hadn't said Eunkwang's name, he had brought a memory... it was good...  
\- But I think it would be better not to mention this to anyone else, when we went home later, we promised never, _ever_ to talk about that night ever again...

Changsub had a giggle, a very cute giggle and answered that he guessed he understood why. Eunkwang and Sungjae stayed for a bit more, trying to see if anything else came back, but without forcing it. They were just happy.

 

_Two months later:_

It was cold, September and October had flew by and now it was already November... Coldness was everywhere and Sungjae was glad he had went out with a scarf and a beanie, there were a few snowflakes falling down, he looked to the sky, trying to catch one on his tongue, he knew it was kids stuff, but it was still fun, he was heading to Eunkwang's place and would have gotten there peacefully if he hadn't bumped into Changsub who was pretty much doing exactly what he had been doing when he was still in his yard, so, not looking where he was going... Sungjae laughed because he already thought that 16 was too old to catch snow like that, but that guy was what... almost 21??

Sungjae scolded him for not looking where he was going, he didn't say it out-loud but he thought really hard about how quickly another accident could happen, Changsub still had pretty much no memories concerning Sungjae but stuff was coming back, he usually was confused as to when, where and with who it had happened, so they now sometimes did days where they would gather, usually at Eunkwang's because he had a huge ass room, and it was "let's answer Changsubie's questions day!", at first it was just Eunkwang and Sungjae, but soon, everyone had joined because everyone wanted to help, and it was easier... and they discovered a lot about each others because Changsub had a surprising amount of crazy memories... They made him write them down when he had a flash of memory and had a lot of fun trying to guess with who it had happened.  
Sungjae felt a bit sad it was never with him... but then again, he hadn't been the best person to Changsub... so if he had wiped out any bad memories, he probably had wiped out all that concerned Sungjae...

But then, it happened, when Changsub asked:  
\- To whom did I offer a weird stuffed fish with a book on fishing? I chose it carefully in a fishing store and I was very pleased with myself for finding the weird fish...

Sungjae couldn't hold back a smile, as he had said, Changsub was the best with gifts, and more importantly, it was him, Changsub had remembered something concerning him! He felt so happy he could have ran around the room and hugged everyone, but he contained himself and just said it was him, at the same time pretty much everyone said Sungjae. Sungjae added it was for his 11th birthday, he had whimpered about the fact that he was too big now to be offered a stuffed animal, and he had never admitted to anyone the stuffed fish was still on his bed, he sometimes fell asleep holding it... but he was not going to say that, he just added he still had the gifts somewhere in his room (the stuffed fish put between his two pillows as always, but he wasn't gonna admit that, and the book was among all of his fishing books)...  
Ilhoon commented that if he recalled anything concerning fishing, it was definitely Sungjae. 

It was the only memory concerning Sungjae of the day, but it made him in a really, really great mood. When he went home, he was very happy and he even cooked dinner for his parents, saying to his mother that she should rest after a hard day of work and she laughed, saying reminding him it was a day off today and asking what had happened for him to be in such a great mood, he excitedly answered saying Changsub had recalled something that had to do with him, and both of his parents smiled, happy that he was happy. 

The next day, snow was covering everything, Sungjae went out, overly excited and ran to Peniel's, he didn't even need to knock since he spent so much time here, he ran to Peniel's room, he knew that lazy kid was still asleep and opened the curtains, yelling that the sun was up, it was time to get up, and after half an hour, he had managed to drag Peniel outside, and gone to harass everyone else, Minhyuk was already awake, which wasn't surprising, Eunkwang was in a way too good of a mood, Ilhoon was nagging that it was too cold to play outside, and none of them agreed, forcing him outside, Changsub was still half asleep, it looked like he was going to kill everyone, it was a look Sungjae didn't know he had missed... the hardest to wake up was Hyunsik, which was why they went to him last, and lost a lot of time, before thinking about opening the window and stealing his blanket (Ilhoon's idea), the sudden cold woke him up, and they all clapped at Ilhoon's (sociopathic) genious mind!

Sungjae dragged them all to his yard (he had the biggest), and managed to make them work on "the biggest snow man ever!", but they lost Eunkwang who was making angels in the snow while Minhyuk was trying to destroy them laughing, Ilhoon seemed more focused on attacking everyone with snowballs, and Changsub had fallen asleep sitting on the bench that Sungjae's parents had put in the yard a long time ago, Sungjae put his scarf and beanie on him, first because he was too hot, that Changsub wasn't wearing any, and because he didn't want him to catch a cold... after a while, he couldn't stand it and added a blanket from his house.  
He then proceeded to focus on the biggest snowman ever, and they failed miserably, it was just Peniel Hyunsik and him working on it, but Ilhoon kept on attacking them, and the snow wasn't very good...

Later, they all went inside, (Changsub had woken up at some point, and hadn't moved, just staring blankly in the distance, until he was a bit more awake and laughed at their failed snowman) for some tea and Sungjae wanted them to stay for lunch but the university ones had to study, Minhyuk even dared to say "we already played too long", Sungjae was horrified at the declaration (he sulked for a while, which made them all laugh because it seemed baby Sungjae was back) and inevitably, there were only Changsub (who would start university again in the next semester) and him left, because Ilhoon had a dentist appointment (he had forgotten about it, his mother had called, scolding him for not going home earlier, and he was like "but it's not even lunch time yet", and he got scolded more and went home, waving them goodbye dramatically).  
Sungjae sulked even more, saying they were all meanies, and Changsub asked him if it bothered him that he was the only one left, to which Sungjae quickly apologized, saying that no, not at all, really no, no no!!

During lunch, it seemed Changsub had a revelation, he suddenly stood up and went out in the yard, and stayed in the cold, looking at the house frowning. Sungjae ran after him with both of their coats, grumbling at that guy who was going to die of coldness and he put Changusb's coat on his shoulder and put his own on, asking him why he was acting like that.  
Changsub was now pointing at the house, still frowning, Sungjae was pretty sure he wasn't listening to him... He stepped away and looked left and right, it seemed he was really focused, Sungjae figured he would have to follow him if he wanted to know. He knew it happened sometime, Changsub acted weird when he had a sudden flash.  
He suddenly asked if there used to be a small swing-set in the garden and Sungjae smiled widely, nodding.   
He then asked if his sister had once fallen from the swing-set and hurt her knee and Sungjae had to think back for a while because that was some old memory before nodding, it was at his 9th birthday. Changsub just nodded and dragged Sungjae back inside, saying it was cold. Sungjae couldn't help but laugh and they went back to eating and Changsub started asking a lot of questions, and Sungjae had to hold back from grinning too much, but he felt really happy Changsub was starting to remember stuff that were somehow related to him. And he asked if Sungjae still really had the stuffed fish he had offered him and Sungjae nodded, saying it was in his room, he dragged Changsub there to prove his point but right before entering, he remembered he had fell asleep holding it the day before and it was now neatly lying on his pillow, in other words, it would embarrassing to let Changsub in... So it told him to wait and quickly closed the door after entering, leaving a confused Changsub behind him.

He took the stuffed fish out of its spot and opened the door again, smiling as if nothing weird had just happened, he shoved the fish Changsub's hands:  
\- You see, I still have it!   
He then proceeded to his bookshelf, looking for that fishing book as Changsub was looking around, and when Sungjae finally found it, he threw it proudly at Changsub, who didn't catch it by the way and just looked at it falling down.   
He absent mindedly picked it up and sat on Sungjae's bed, staring at it for a weirdly long time, he then asked if Sungjae had kept any other gift he might have offered him and Sungjae started looking around, he knew they were all somewhere in there...   
Sungjae took out his Naruto figurine, saying he had gave it to him on his12th birthday, Sungjae had complained it was baby stuff, not admitting that he really liked it.  
Changsub took it, leaving the book on the bed and staring at it for a while. He then started talking again, frowning:  
\- I think I remember this... but I had brought it for myself, I'm pretty sure I wasn't intending to give it to anyone....  
Sungjae shrugged and kept on looking for the rest, there was the pinwheel, Sungjae took it out saying it was the first birthday gift Changsub had gave him. He added that it was on his 9th birthday and that he had been happy about it because he had wanted one for a long time... and he took also took out the other ones, telling when he had offered them each time, Changsub sometimes commented, saying he thought he remembered (usually he remembered buying them) and sometimes not saying anything, just staring.

Later, Changsub went back home, thanking Sungjae for the lunch, and he went out, waving with a smile that made Sungjae's heart beat faster, it was the cutest smile ever, he smiled back, saying he was always happy to help. When he closed the door, he wondered why he had _really_ been fixed on hating Changsub all these years...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you have a great weekend and that t's not too hot or not too cold because it's way too hot here so I hope you're not in the same situation than I am and let's root for "The Feeling" release on Monday!!!!!!!!!  
> Goodbye... for now...


	3. Chapter 3

For Eunkwang and Minhyuk's birthdays (they celebrated it the same day) Sungjae was very happy because this year they agreed to let him drink, which sounded great, but he had to promise he wouldn't drink too much because he was underage and, as always, Eunkwang was acting like he was Sungjae's second father... it was fun sometimes, but right now, pretty annoying, and the other old man (in not bratty 16-year-old Sungjae terms: Minhyuk) was agreeing with him, Sungjae was sulking, but not too much, knowing them, they were capable of cutting it to no alcohol for him at all.

The worse was that since Ilhoon was 17 now, they cared less about him drinking.

The evening went well, Sungjae was able to win a full bottle of beer and three shots (it was more than Eunkwang had allowed, he would thank Peniel and Ilhoon later), but he still was way, way sober than everyone else, it was pretty late and they were pretty much wasted, not Sungjae obviously.

He was sitting at the foot of the couch where Peniel was sound asleep, laughing at Hyunsik and Eunkwang's "fight" (it looked like two four years old fighting over who their favorite cartoon character was, in other words, didn't make a lot of sense...) when Changsub sat (it looked more like he fell but Sungjae was nice, he didn't comment on it) next to him, complaining:  
\- I drank a bit too much, I think my body is not taking it too well... I hadn't drank since... you know... - he used Sungjae shoulder as a pillow before adding - Or maybe I am just getting old... 

He moved, settling more comfortably and Sungjae didn't know what to do anymore, he was frozen. Changsub added softly:  
\- I think I gave that Naruto to you because I knew it would make you happy, and I like when you're happy...

Sungjae looked down, Changsub had his eyes closed and seemed about to fall asleep, he wondered if the older had thought a lot about that Naruto and he found it cute that he had came to that conclusion... because that couldn't be true, why would Changsub (the before the accident Changsub) like when he was happy when Sungjae was always so mean to him...

Sungjae was the first one to wake up the next day,  he had somehow ended up lying down at the foot of the couch, and Changsub was still using him as a pillow (and not just his shoulder, he was basically holding on to him as if he was some kind of body pillow). Sungjae looked around, for some reason, Ilhoon had managed to get Eunkwang's bed for himself, but after looking twice, Sungjae realized Minhyuk was sleeping on the bed too, all curled up, Hyunsik and Eunkwang were scattered on the carpet, head to head, the whole picture looked funny.

When he tried to move, Changsub tightened his hold on him and Sungjae almost laughed out loud because that guy was really taking him for his personal pillow!   
He tried to move again and got the same reaction, so he gave up and closed his eyes, trying to fall back asleep, which what felt like hours later, still wasn't happening.  
He opened his eyes again and carefully moved Changsub's arm, and leg (really, what did he think Sungjae was?) and rolled him away, sighing in relief before standing up. Now, what should he do???

Half an hour later, Sungjae finally wasn't the only one awake (Minhyuk was very surprised when Sungjae ran to him and almost carried him whispering that he finally wasn't the only one awake anymore) and Minhyuk suggested they cleaned up a bit, which for some reason hadn't crossed Sungjae's mind earlier...

 

_A few weeks later:_

Sungjae entered the convenience store, he wasn't faking having something to buy anymore, he just came in, took a stool and sat next to wherever Changsub was.  
\- Don't you have stuff like homework?  
Sungjae chuckled, he would do that later at Peniel's. He added that if Changsub wanted him to leave, he would (he didn't want to sound offended, but he was), Changsub laughed and answered that even if he wanted him to leave, Sungjae would stay just to bother him.

Sungjae frowned... he hadn't done stuff like that for... a very long time... It was a game he used to love, doing exactly the opposite of whatever Changsub would say, he did it a lot when they were younger, even when they had ended up in the same team playing soccer, he had made their team lose because of that, he had pissed off everyone...   
But they had never brought that up... had Changsub just assumed that or did he remember more than he was telling? 

Sungjae didn't say anything, but it stayed on his mind, when he got to Peniel's house, he wasn't really focusing on his work a lot... When he went back home, he was out of it for the whole dinner, not even really paying attention to what his sister, who was back in town for the new year, was telling about her life these days.  
After that day of confusion, Sungjae decided it was just a coincidence and let it go to a small corner in his mind and didn't think about it anymore.

 

_Two months later:_

Sungjae bit his lips, he was in front of Changsub's house, today was his birthday, and he had a gift. It was the first time in a while he had a gift for Changsub.   
He looked at it. He hadn't wrapped it, he wanted to seem casual.

He jumped when Changsub suddenly went out of his house, he seemed pretty much still asleep and he yawned as he was closing the door, he then noticed Sungjae and looked surprised to see him, Sungjae quickly hid his gift behind his back, smiling awkwardly, he wasn't sure what to say or do. To his surprise Changsub didn't comment and just smiled to him:  
\- Hi Sungjae! Having a walk before going to school?

Sungjae quickly nodded:  
\- Funny I happened to pass by here now! Wanna walk together?

Changsub nodded, smiling again with that smile that made Sungjae feel like the whole world was enlightened with a new light (Sungjae didn't know how it was possible, but it seemed like that smile's power was increasing day after day), and he figured he would give his gift later, he wasn't ready.

They gathered at Eunkwang's place once more but they didn't drink as much as they had on Eunkwang's and Minhyuk's birthday, and Sungjae waited for the right moment to give his gift for so long he almost gave up. But he decided he hadn't made it for nothing so he sat next to Changsub (who had been staring at a picture for a while, just frowning, Sungjae figured he might be trying to remember something) and just handed it to him.  
Changsub frowned, surprised but took it anyway.  
\- I wanted to give it to you this morning but...  
He sighed, and hoped Changsub would get it.

It was a small photo album, there were one or two pictures from the past, but most of them were from September on till now, Sungjae had put little comments under the pictures, where and when it was, and some other comments there were all kinds of pictures, sometimes they were all on it and sometimes there wasn't anyone (Sungjae had taken a picture of Changsub's spot by the river), and he had ended it by a little note (a very cute little note) it all made Changsub smile widely and Sungjae blushed when he turned to thank him with that smile, now it felt like the sun had come up in the middle of the night.

 

_A few weeks later:_

\- WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!! WAKE UP!!!!!  
Sungjae was running around Changsub's room and ended his journey by jumping on the elder's bed, he found it cute how the only thing he could see from Changsub was the top of his head, the rest buried under the covers, he didn't seem to react so Sungjae started shaking him:

\- WAKE UP!! WAKE UP!! WAKE UP!!

Changsub's head emerged from the pillow and he frowned, looking at Sungjae with confusion:  
\- Who... who are you?  
Sungjae's eyes opened widely. No... no. Not again! He started panicking:  
\- IT'S ME, IT'S SUNGJAE!!  
Changsub frowned, he looked really lost:  
\- Sungjae?

Sungjae felt tears fill his eyes as he was really panicking, he grabbed Changsub by the shoulders shaking him:  
\- IT'S ME! IT'S...  
Tears started to fall, that couldn't happen again.

Seeing Sungjae's tears Changsub suddenly changed his expression, hugging Sungjae while apologizing:  
\- No... No, no, no... Sungjae it's alright, I was just messing with you, it's alright, everything's alright! Don't cry! Don’t cry!!! I'm sorry, I didn't think you were going to believe me... I'm so sorry...!!

Sungjae pushed him away, pouting, he was mad now:  
\- How is _that_ supposed to be funny?  
Changsub brought him closer to hug him again, laughing:  
\- You should have seen your face... you're such a crybaby...

Sungjae couldn't help but smile when Changsub called him a crybaby, he had never thought he would miss being called like that... He suddenly realized their hug was getting weirdly long, Changsub was rocking him back and forth absent mindedly, patting his hair, it felt really nice, which was probably why Sungjae didn't really want to end that hug, but he hadn't come running around in here for no reason:  
\- You should get ready! It's your first day back to university!!!!  
While he was getting up from the bed, he noticed the album he had offered Changsub was on his bedside table, and he smiled seeing it, he was happy that Changsub had liked it.

When it was 6:30 in the afternoon, Sungjae was waiting excitedly at the university entrance, he was too shy to get in so he was they would be out soon. He ran to Changsub when he saw him, and jumped around him asking how it had gone, and was met with a laugh because he was way too excited and wouldn’t stop moving around, he only calmed down when Ilhoon (to whom it was the very first day of in university) tried to jump on his back, saying he was getting too tall, and Sungjae wasn't sure he was going to survive, not that Ilhoon was heavy, but he had gotten surprised...  
He only managed to get rid of Ilhoon when he faked stumbling and Ilhoon figured it wasn't a safe way of traveling, and went to harass somebody else.

 

_Sungjae's 17th birthday:_

It was the end of his school day, Sungjae was heading home when he felt a hand on his shoulder, turned and was met with a widely grinning Changsub:  
\- Happy birthday Crybaby!!!  
Changsub then laughed and started preparing to run away, but he didn't have to because Sungjae was just standing there, smiling like an idiot, a single tear rolling down his cheek, had the elder just called him crybaby? 

Changsub noticed his tear and rushed to him, trying to hold Sungjae still to wipe it away, asking what was wrong and Sungjae wondered if Changsub knew anything about personal space, but it's not like he cared anymore, he answered he was just happy.  
Changsub tilted his head, smiling to him, and now it felt like the sun was bursting and that rain would never fall again on that particular spot they were standing in (Sungjae had no idea why he kept on comparing Changsub's smile with the sun...).

Changsub tip-toed and kissed Sungjae's cheek, where the tear had previously stopped rolling, Sungjae blushed madly, frozen, what was he doing now???????  
\- Thank you Sungjae, for everything. You've really grown a lot you know?   
He was blushing a bit too. Sungjae's heart was messing with him, beating crazily in his chest.

Changsub was now looking down, he added, talking in a lower tone:  
\- I've been remembering a lot more about you than I told you... but... I think I've been afraid you'd go back to the way you were before if you knew I remembered... And don't get me wrong, I don't remember _everything_ , I don't remember meeting you, I don't remember offering you most of these birthday gifts... and I kind of wish I did... - he raised he head, looking at Sungjae - But I do remember seeing you cry, I don’t know when, and hating seeing you sad... I think I liked you a lot Sungjae...

Sungjae was still a blushing mess, so Changsub did remember more than he was telling... But he couldn't even be mad at him, he had more or less guessed it when Changsub had called him crybaby... and some other times where he would say something about Sungjae's behavior, but he guessed he understood. He absent-mindedly touched his cheek, wondering if that would be weird asking for another kiss... and after thinking about it, he figured it would definitely be weird, he suddenly realized they had started walking again, he wondered where they were going, Changsub was holding his sleeve, leading him somewhere. He frowned, this looked like they were heading to Eunkwang's.  
\- Why are we heading to Eunkwang's now?  
\- We're throwing you a surprise party!!! - he realized what he had just said and added - I mean... No! I don't know!! Okay... Just act surprised when you enter, and do not say I told you that! They said I didn't know how to keep a secret and I want to prove them wrong!!!!

They arrived at Eunkwang's place and when Sungjae opened the door and they all yelled "Happy Birthday Sungjae!!", he tried to fake being surprised, but they all sighed, complaining that they knew they couldn't trust Changsub with that kind of mission.  
Sungjae told them it was alright, he was still very happy about it!! They had even already told his parents he would stay over at Eunkwang's (it was Friday, and he would celebrate his birthday at his grandparent's house newt week, so it was alright!) and Eunkwang allowed him to drink a bit more than the last time (which made him very happy, and Ilhoon kept giving him drinks when the elders weren't looking). 

Sungjae was drunk. It felt funny, the whole world felt funny and when he tried to stand, he felt like the funny world was spinning. He almost fell an embarrassingly high amount of time while heading to the bathroom, he was saved twice by Peniel, twice by Hyunsik and once by Minhyuk (to whom he asked not to tell Minhyuk about him drinking, he realized that the day after, wondering why his drunk self was so stupid). On his way back to the couch, he could walk better but couldn't stop laughing at everything everyone was doing. He sat next to Changsub on the couch and settled comfortably using Changsub's shoulder as a pillow, while pouting:  
\- You look boring!  
Changsub chuckled:  
\- By boring do you mean sober? ...Someone's gotta keep an eye on you, you know?

Sungjae shook his head saying that he could take care of himself, he had his eyes closed and was ready to fall asleep, but he suddenly frowned:  
\- But really, why are you still boring???  
\- Sober? I can't drink tonight Sungjae, that's why!

He was talking quietly, in a soft tone Sungjae really liked, but it was weird, at his own birthday he hadn't drank either... nor at Hyunsik's or Peniel's (birthdays were the only times the elders let Sungjae (and Ilhoon, for all that mattered) come with them to drink) and it was weird because he knew Changsub loved drinking, like he was pretty hammered at Eunkwang and Minhyuk's birthdays, so it wasn't some after effect of the accident that made him not drink anymore...  
\- Whyyyyy? I wanted us to be fun togetheeer!!!  
Changsub laughed and answered in that same soft tone:  
\- Because I am under medication so, - he turned a bit to Sungjae, it seemed he was talking to a child - I'll get in trouble if I drink!

Sungjae frowned, what medication? Why hadn't he heard of that? Though the world and his brain seemed a bit blurry and everything, he was sure he had never heard of any medication, this sounded like trouble, like trouble he didn't want to happen.  
\- It's alright Sungjae, don't worry about it, just keep on having fun, it's your birthday!!  
Sungjae pouted and asked trying to act cute:  
\- Then can you kiss my cheek again? If you do, I won't worry at all, I promise!!!!!

Changsub giggled, and smiled, kissing Sungjae's cheek, Sungjae closed his eyes again, blushing and harboring a satisfied smile, he had won his kiss, he would worry tomorrow! But he kind of wanted another one now... or maybe one on the lips... but _that_ would be weird to ask...

He didn't realize he had fallen asleep until he woke up, with a throbbing headache, the next morning. They were all already awake and he was met with Changsub's dorky face:  
\- Hello there sleepy head! You slept well???

Sungjae sat up, rubbing his eyes, he had somehow ended up on Eunkwang's bed and the apartment had already been cleaned up. He felt dizzy.  
\- Heyyy, hey! Take it easy buddy!!   
Changsub gave him a glass of water, still with the dorky face.   
Sungjae just wanted to sleep again, but apparently, Changsub had decided differently. And for some reason, Eunkwang looked dead, lying face on the ground. Sungjae realized it was past noon already, he had slept way too much!! He should go home!!

Sungjae tried to get over his hangover before going home, but Changsub's soup (and rambling, he had apparently been the only sober one the day before, and had spent the whole morning complaining about how it had felt like he was dealing with a bunch of misbehaving kids: he had had to put Ilhoon and Sungjae to bed, try to keep Eunkwang from harassing Peniel who had fallen asleep, keep Minhyuk from going home because he was _not_ as sober as he was claiming to be and keep Hyunsik from drinking more) hadn't been that effective, but Sungjae was fine enough. 

 

_A week later:_

Sungae went home from school (from Peniel's to be  more precise) and was surprised when his mother gave him a note, saying it was for him.  
Sungjae looked and he recognized Changsub's messy handwriting, that seemed even messier than usual, Sungjae frowned seeing what was written:  
 _Need to be at the hospital for a few days, don't worry, I'll back soon! ;-)_

Hospital? Why??? He knew there was something Changsub wasn't saying... He crushed the note in his hands, he was angry. Anger was probably the best way for him to try not to worry too much but he felt the urge to see Changsub, he couldn't know if he was alright if he couldn't see him. It was too late for visiting hours so Sungjae figured he would go as soon as possible, no, Lee Changsub wouldn't get away with this! Sungjae wanted explanations, he would have them!!!


	4. Chapter 4

Sungjae was now standing in front of the hospital, he had ended up going two days later, and wondered how many days were "a few" for Changsub... He didn't really like hospitals, last time be had come was to visit his grandfather around a week before his death. Sungjae sighed deeply and went in. After a stop at the front desk for information, he went to room 304, third floor. He was still very angry with how the elder wouldn't tell him anything but when he entered, all angriness flew away, why was Changsub connected to so many machines??? He didn't like that. He would have said something but he realized he was asleep, so he sat by his bedside, after having tried to read his charts but he had not understood a word, these were all big words… He held Changsub's hand sighing, really, who would have thought Sungjae would be worried enough to actually go visit him? But the only thing reassuring was that now he was sure Changsub was still alive.

He realized Changsub wouldn't be waking up anytime soon, he hogged the bed table and figured he would do his homework here. He sat more comfortably and stared at his homework, not sure how he was supposed to solve this... he somewhat found an answer and then immersed completely in his work... He was only brought back to reality when he heard:  
\- Huuu... Sungjae??? What are you doing?????

He raised his head and realized he was sitting rather weirdly, kneeling half on the chair, half on the bed, and he was scattered on the table. Changsub was looking at him with wonder, head tilted on the side, he looked so cute right now, Sungjae kind of wanted to go squish his cheeks, but then he remembered they were in a hospital and he was mad.  
He sat back properly:  
\- Just doing my homework... What are _you_ doing?

Changsub now looked confused, Sungjae sighed, frowned and crossed his arms:  
\- You told me not to worry... yet... I come here... and found you surrounded with medical stuff, unconscious and looking pale to death!

Changsub shook his head, now looking amused:  
\- Have you ever been to a hospital before Sungjae? - he gestured to all the medical stuff Sungjae didn't know the name of - This is pretty basic stuff, I was just napping, a nap you interrupted by using my legs... I still don't get how that can be called doing homework... - he sighed before adding - And this is my normal skin tone...  
\- So you're fine??

Changsub smiled, nodding, but Sungjae wasn't buying it. This seemed like a fake smile, he stood up from his chair and sat back on Changsub bedside, way closer to him:  
\- I'm not buying it.  
Changsub seemed flustered, Sungjae may have moved a bit too close, but that man would not be getting away with faking being fine.  
Changsub tried to push him away, saying that no, really, he was fine but Sungjae suddenly hugged him tight and threatened not to let him go unless he told him the truth. Which made Changsub laugh because, well, first he was definitely in a more comfortable position, and also because, he was really fine.  
Sungjae let him go sighing:  
\- So this won't work eith...  
He stopped when he felt Changub's hand on his arm, he smiled sweetly at Sungjae:  
\- You worry way, way too much...  
He cupped Sungjae's face with his hands, softly caressing his cheeks with his thumbs, and Sungjae felt like he couldn't breathe anymore, he shouldn't have sat so close.  
But then Changsub let him go (Sungjae started breathing again, but he kind of whished they had stayed like that longer, and wondered if he had thought about kissing him) and added:  
\- I was just not too well, because I fell from my bed and hurt my head a bit, and I should have gotten out today but then they said something about checking I-don't-know-what and so I'll get out tomorrow... You know, head wound has gotta be checked once in a while... 

Sungjae gulped, Changsub had finished his sentence pouting and playing with the hem of Sungjae's sweatshirt, and it was way too cute for Sungjae to handle.  
Had Changsub always been such a cutie?  
\- I'm just really scared something bad will happen to you...  
Sungjae was looking down now, he was almost whispering. He wondered when the elder had started being so important to him... 

The next day he came back, determined to escort Changsub home, he wanted to be sure everything was really alright! He stick to Changsub throughout his getting discharged and complaining that Sungjae was standing too close and he couldn't focus (which only made Sungjae stand closer):  
\- You know I'm a big boy Sungjae, I can't do this on my own...  
Sungjae shook his head and they both blushed madly when the nurse handing Changsub the papers told him his boyfriend was the cutest and very caring and Changsub got lost in messilly trying to explain Sungjae wasn't his boyfriend but just a friend and she answered it was "too bad"...

Sungjae felt a bit hurt counting the amount of "no" Changsub blurted out, one would have suffice... and he wasn't sure he liked even one "no"... And when they got out and Changsub said he couldn't believe the nurse would think they were a couple, Sungjae smiled:  
\- Of course she would think that, you're basically my wife...  
Changsub turned to him frowning:  
\- If any one of us is a wife it's you... you're the one who keeps sticking to me and worries too much...  
\- _That’s_ what you think a wife is?  
Changsub shrugged, and talked about eating something, Sungjae was pretty sure he just wanted to change the subject, so he went along:  
\- By the way, you never gave me a birthday present...  
Changsub blushed and said he hadn't found the right gift yet so he would gave it to him when he found it. 

They went to eat and as he was just about to take the first bite, Changsub’s phone rang and he excused himself after taking the call, leaving Sungjae to step out. What kind of phone call needed him to go out? Was he uncomfortable with Sungjae hearing that? Sungjae got into investigation mode and tried to look at Changsub's face while on the phone, he seemed torn between frowning and smiling. He went back in, sighing and sat back:  
\- What was it? - asked Sungjae.  
Changsub looked puzzled for a second and squirmed uncomfortably on his chair (which only made Sungjae more curious) before answering:  
\- It was hum... my... my former boyfriend.  
Sungjae raised his eyebrows in surprise, he had not expected that:  
\- Who??  
Changsub scratched his head and frowned:  
\- I was going out with him before the accident... And when I woke up and didn't recognize him, he still came to visit me at the hospital, saying he wouldn't leave me because of that, but after a few weeks, it was before I went back here, he said I was just too different and he wasn't sure he could win me once more... Don't ask I still have no idea of what he meant by that, so he broke up with me and he still calls once in a while to see how I'm doing.  
\- And... you remember a lot about him? - Sungjae was now filled with curiousity, what could have been Changsub's love life till now?  
\- Hum... I do remember stuff...  
Was he blushing? What kind of memory was he recalling right now??? Sungjae smirked:  
\- What stuff???  
But then the image of Changsub with somebody else struck him and he didn't like that, _**at all**_. But Changsub was still blushing a bit and he answered uncomfortably:  
\- Hum… Stuff... you're underage for.  
And after that he spent all his efforts trying to change the subject.  
\- And you don't remember anything else about him? That's actually kind of funny...

Sungjae giggled for a while before calming down, being faced with Changsub's death stare, and also because the image of Changsub with somebody else came back to his mind, and that calmed his giggling down, and it was replaced  with a rage that would probably come out if he ever met said former boyfriend.

 

_A week later, on Thursday:_

\- Peniel, I think I'm in trouble.

Sungjae had his homework lying in front of him, but he couldn't care less right now and Peniel seemed focused but he immediately rraised his head, hearing Sungjae's desperate tone:  
\- Why? What did you do?

Sungjae was sitting on the ground with his legs crossed, Peniel was lying on his bed with papers scattered all around him.   
Sungjae sighed:  
\- I think I'm falling for Chang...  
He hadn't finished that Peniel suddenly jumped up:  
\- Have you talked to anybody else about this before me??????

Sungjae shook his head confused, getting even more confused at Peniel's celebratory dance, singing "I WIN!" while looking for his phone. What the hell was going on now?  
\- Hello Minhyuk? And whoever you're with right now, tell him, and tell everyone I WON!!!!!

Sungjae didn't get what that was all about but Peniel calmed down after calling Ilhoon too, then again claiming he had won after that, sat down facing him:  
\- We made a bet on who you would go to first, I said me, Minhyuk and Hyunsik said Eunkwang, Eunkwang said me, and Ilhoon said himself, that's right, Eunkwang won too!  
He started to look for his phone again but stopped seeing Sungjae's stare and sat back, calmly asking:  
\- So what were you saying?  
\- If you all made bets... you guys knew?  
\- Believe it or not... you're pretty obvious...

Sungjae was bewildered, how could they all already know?  
\- So, why is that trouble?  
Sungjae was playing with his pen, looking down, he didn't know how to phrase it... but, he had had to walk a long way before coming to that conclusion. But okay, the fact that he wanted to kiss him whenever he was talking was pretty reveling, and the fact that he wanted to see him all the time, and that he wanted to protect him from anything bad, and that wasn't all, it would take too long to list it all... But anyway, he wasn't sure Changsub saw anything else than Sungjae the crybaby in him, which is exactly what he explained to Peniel.

Peniel listened nodding and said at the end:  
\- You don't have to worry, Changsub's totally into you, though I'm pretty sure he just doesn't know it yet...  
Sungjae looked at Peniel confused, what now?

 

_Two weeks later, Friday:_

Peniel and Minhyuk were waiting for Sungjae at the end at the end of his school day, he knew why they were here but still tried to avoid them anyway, which did not work out, he hadn't noticed Hyunsik who ambushed him. He should have know they would team up against him. He gave up and just followed them sighing. They had won a battle, but they wouldn't win the war.

They wanted him to go confess, but the best he had done in two weeks was managing to avoid Changsub pretty much everyday. He was convinced Changsub wasn't into him and had decided to move on, but ever since he had talked to Peniel, the rest of his friends had decided he would confess, whether he liked it or not. Which Sungjae had never agreed to.

\- Today is the day! - Minhyuk declared, he seemed overly happy about it and Sungjae was looking for a way out, unfortunately, Hyunsik had his arm around his shoulders (he knew they just _had_ to bring the strong one...) and Sungjae knew it was hopeless to fight him...  
They arrived at the old playground, Sungjae had no idea what they were doing there, and suddenly, they all went into action, and Sungjae witnessed Minhyuk doing the most elaborate knot he had ever witnessed, but realized too late the knot was actually tying his arm to the swing set. What the hell????

The three of them ran off laughing evilly, leaving Sungjae in a ridiculous situation, and he looked at the knot, what was that thing? How was he going to untie it with only one hand? The left one above all!!!! 

Salvation came but it wasn't the one Sungjae wanted. Changsub was heading to the swing set frowning at his phone. He looked at Sungjae with an eyebrow raised:  
\- I received a text from Minhyuk saying I had a package waiting for me here, and that it wasn't a bad joke. I was expecting to find some weird stuff... but not you!!

He then noticed the fact that Sungjae was tied to the swing set and frowned:  
\- What exactly were they trying to do with you Sungjae?

Sungjae was way too embarrassed about the whole situation to say anything, but he knew Changsub didn't really need him to answer, he could carry out a whole conversation by himself without trouble, though it could be a bit annoying at times, in that type of situation, it was pretty convenient.  
\- You're lucky Minhyuk once taught me that stuff... It's funny, you know, I discovered what we learn isn't stored in the same part of our brain than our memories...   
He rambled on for a while and Sungjae still didn't know what to say to explain the situation but Changsub kept on talking:  
\- So how did he get you? You're not the first one getting trapped by Minhyuk's hidden evil side... You're lucky he only tied one side... I guess he wasn't alone for this... you're too tall...

Sungjae sighed and mumbled, blushing madly, that Minhyuk and the others wanted him to stop avoiding Changsub...   
\- I didn't quite get that...  
Changsub was grinning at him, finishing untying the knot.   
\- But you're free to go now!!!  
Sungjae thanked him, still blushing madly, which Changsub seemed to find amusing for some reason, he pinched Sungjae's cheek, still grinning:   
\- Why are you blushing???

Sungjae's heart had just missed a few beats, he was pretty sure he didn't know how to talk anymore, and he was blushing even more, things were not going his way.  
Changsub sat on the nearest swing, rubbing his face:  
\- It's been a hell of a long day... 

He started rambling on again, what was it with him tonight? And Sungjae wasn't really listening, he had sat on a swing too and was just watching him nodding along, wondering if he had always been this pretty and since when did brushing back his hair made him look so hot? He suddenly stopped talking and Sungjae took a while to notice he was just staring at him now.  
Changsub smiled when he noticed Sungjae had come back to reality:  
\- You're awfully quiet... everything is alright?

Sungjae just nodded, and he started sweating when Changsub stood up and went very, _very_ , close to him, whispering:  
\- I'm not buying it...  
He giggled when Sungjae tried to hit his arm, and randomly hugged him, it was weird because Sungjae was sitting so his face ended up crashing on Changsub's torso, which was unusual for him since he was taller than pretty much all of his friends... Sungjae had no idea why they were hugging now, but he liked it.   
\- We should go home now...   
Changsub had started patting Sungjae's hair and though he was the one to have talked, he wasn't moving one bit, he kissed Sungjae's top of the head before letting him go:  
\- You know, you're really cute when you're spacing out... but don't lick your lips while staring at someone, it sends a weird message...

Sungjae blushed madly, had he really done that? 

 

The next day, as Sungjae was still sleeping, hugging his stuffed fish tight against his heart, the most horrific event possible happened, somebody entered his room, sneaked on his bed, and burst out laughing when he noticed the stuffed fish. Which woke Sungjae up, he sent the fish flying at the over side of his room, but it was too late, Changsub's witch laugh was unstoppable:  
\- So **that's** why you acted so weird when I asked if you really still had it...  
And he went back to laughing his heart out, Sungjae blushed madly, why was he blushing so much these days? And couldn't escape Changsub bear hugging him while making a weird growling noise, at least someone was in a good mood...   
\- What the hell are you doing?? - Sungjae whined.  
\- You've been avoiding me, so I decided to take matter in my own hands, and harass you until you stop, I woke up early for that purpose only, and also, I missed you.

He had settled, hogging most of Sungjae's blanket and closed his eyes, apparently ready to fall back asleep, but he suddenly stood back up, ran around the room and came back with the fish, he shoved it in Sungjae's hand:  
\- Now let's sleep for a bit more.  
And he settled back, and Sungjae was pretty sure he had already fallen asleep...

Sungjae couldn't fall back asleep (it turned out Changsub had invested his room at around 10, and Sungjae wouldn't call that _early_...). He tried to close his eyes for a while, but gave up after a few minutes and looked next to him, Changsub hadn't moved, Sungjae turned to face him and he was amazed at how peaceful he looked when he was sleeping, was he smiling a bit? He stayed like that for a while, without really thinking about it he let his finger linger on Changsub's face, drawing lines, his face was so soft... he froze when Changsub moved and he retracted his hand, but he couldn't bring himself to move further away.   
He still got startled a bit when Changsub opened his eyes, Sungjae realized he was lying way too close for it to be normal, he figured he could just run away, but as he was starting to get up, Changsub grabbed his hand, saying in his still half asleep voice (how had he managed to fall back deeply asleep in such a short while?):  
\- You're not getting away from me todayyyyyy...  
He rolled around the bed, managing to trap Sungjae in it before heading for Sungjae's shelves, Sungjae sighed:  
\- Can I at least get dressed?  
\- Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!! ...What video games do you have?  
\- So I'm not allowed to get up? Why?  
Changsub jumped back on the bed and sat, pouting:  
\- Because... You never hang out with me these days...

Sungjae bit his lips, he was way too cute:  
\- Okay, okay, okay... I'll spend the day with you, but at least, let me get dressed and eat something!  
Changsub crossed his arm, in what seemed to be profound reflection:  
\- Alright... but you've got to stay with me until I decide to!  
Sungjae laughed:  
\- Okay!  
He stood up, smiling widely, went to the bathroom, when he came back, Changsub was in the middle of choosing a game to play:  
\- Wanna eat something before? - asked Sungjae.  
Changsub's head shot up:  
\- Food? Let's go!  
Sungjae smiled and led the way to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Have a great day!!!


	5. Chapter 5

Changsub acted overly clingy the whole day and Sungjae loved it but didn't want to show it too much, when he asked Changsub why he was so clingy he answered:  
\- Because I don't know if you're going to start being a ghost again, Sungjae... I think I'm sort of addicted to you...   
\- Whaaaaat??   
Changsub laughed and added:  
\- Yes, I'm happy when you're here, the world seems dull when you're not, Yook Sungjae you're my drug!!!  
Sungjae laughed, Changsub was a crazy one...   
When Changsub left, _at 11 p.m_ , Sungjae couldn't sleep, he had never napped so much in a single day, it had basically been: napping, playing, napping, eating, playing, napping. 

He woke up at 6:30 the next day, he had no idea what to do with himself. It was way too early to be awake. He ended up stepping out if the house and wandering around the streets, they were so empty on a Sunday morning at 7... he had brought his fishing gear and settled by the river, at least he would be at peace... He stayed focused on his fishing and only went home a few hours later, when his mother called worrying because he had disappeared without a word.

_Thursday:_

Sungjae felt like jumping around, he was back at the old playground and was waiting for Changsub, today was the day.

He had elaborately thought after their day spent together, he had realized Changsub did like him, just as Peniel had said, the fact that he would refer to Sungjae as his drug seemed to show he didn't know it yet (or it had been a really weird way to tell Sungjae he liked him, but he couldn’t be sure… maybe it was also because Sungjae had gathered the others and that they had came to that conclusion).  
His face lit up when he saw Changsub in the distance, not over the fact that he had just tripped on his own feet, but just because he was happy to see him.  
When he was finally here, Sungjae was so nervous he didn't know where to put himself, he couldn't stop moving, and the fact that Changsub had sat on a swing and was just smiling at him wasn't helping at all.  
Sungjae sat on the swing next to Changsub's and calmed himself for a bit, he was glad Changusb didn't seem to move nor rush him.   
\- Changsub, I like you.

He didn't wait for Changsub to say anything, he just kept on, looking at the ground:  
\- You see, I think it started when you came back here, for some reason I couldn't get you out of my head, and then I realized that I didn't really have any reason to hate you... especially since you wouldn't remember anything... but I also didn't like the idea of a life where we were just strangers to each other, so I decided that this was a chance to start over. I intended to be your friend, but I think I somehow fell for you... I don't know if it because you're the weird combination of a 5-year-old and an old man, or if it is because you're constantly doing something stupid... or because your smile is so beautiful, and that I want to see it all the time...

He could have went on for a while, but he gathered his strength and raised his head, Changsub was smiling at him, it seemed he had gone to another dimension, but he was smiling looking at Sungjae. Sungjae wasn't sure how to read his stare... Changsub took a while to realize he was supposed to answer something and when he did, he rubbed his eyes, why did he always looked so cute doing that?  
He smiled at Sungjae and started talking slowly, probably still thinking:  
\- I like you too Sungjae... I think I always have... When you say you were terrible and mean, I remember feeling sad sometimes, but mostly thinking "cute"... I think I really liked you.

Sungjae didn't know what to expect next, Changsub wasn't looking at anything, and his smile was still lingering at the corner of his mouth, Sungjae felt warm, Changsub was talking in that soft tone he really liked, it made him feel like there were only the two of them in the world.  
-... And you've been so nice, so caring wince I came back here... Always supportive, always there. I would be very crazy and ungrateful not to like you...  
He had a little laugh by the end. He added:  
\- I mean, you're the sweetest, you're cute as...

He was cut off by Sungjae getting up and standing right in front of him. Sungjae smiled because Changsub looked so small right now... He leaned down and hugged him, burying his face in the elder's neck. Changsub stood up, rubbing Sungjae's back. Sungjae wanted to stay like this and not let go. 

After a while, Changsub stopped rubbing his back and cupped Sungjae's face, he really had a thing for doing that, Sungjae realized he had talked out loud when Changsub explained:  
\- That's because you have a really handsome face Yook Sungjae.

Sungjae blushed, not that he wasn't used to be given compliments on his handsomeness, but it was Changsub saying it...

Sungjae was waiting expectantly, because it seemed Changsub was going to kiss him, and his heartbeat was unsteadily rising, he closed his eyes but then, Changsub kissed his cheek, Sungjae opened his eyes frowning and was met with that shining smile:  
\- Are you messing with me??  
The smile grew wider and Sungjae decided he would take matter in his own hands, he gently pushed Changsub's hands off his face and dived in, holding Changsub's waist, his lips were so soft, Changsub's hands went to his hair, pulling him closer, and it was all so soft and nice. Their kiss didn't last long, Sungjae would have liked it to be longer but Changsub had softly pulled away, he explained he felt exposed. And Sungjae remembered they were in the middle of the old playground (fortunately no-one ever went there).

Sungjae went back home and blushed madly when his parents asked where he had been, he ran to his bedroom and ended up rolling around on his bed.   
The next day, he was all happy and didn't really focus in class at all... and then, when he went out, of school, he smiled seeing Changsub waving at him, smiling and Sungjae wanted to keep that image in his head forever, he ran to him smiling, taking his hand because he could, he was his boyfriend now!

_6 months later:_

Though it was getting cold, Sungjae found it still very bearable and couldn't help but laugh at Changsub's big coat, because it wasn't cold enough for these yet, Changsub tried to stare scarily enough for Sungjae to stop laughing, but didn't have much success as it only made Sungjae laugh more.

It had been 6 months since they had gotten together, 6 awesome months, they were currently heading to Minhyuk's place for Eunkwang's surprise birthday party (they were all lowkey sure he already knew but were excited anyway), Ilhoon was walking in front if them, not very far, his parents were out of town, he was bored and had spent the day squatting Sungjae's bed, Sungjae loved Ilhoon but had been glad when Changsub had showed up, and after had regretted it because the one bed squatter had turned into two bed squatters who kept on challenging themselves to weird imitations, when Minhyuk had called them saying he needed help because all Hyunsik was doing was playing with the balloons and he had to keep Peniel from eating everything, Sungjae had been more than glad to tell him they would be on their way.

They arrived and couldn't help but laugh because it seemed Minhyuk was the mom trying to keep his two sons from messing around all he had settled, Sungjae saw the look of relief, quickly replaced by despair when Ilhoon started playing with the balloons, inhaling helium, and chasing after Changsub saying his voice probably wouldn't change much if he tried, Sungjae went to Minhyuk and patted him on the shoulder, he would have loved to go play with the helium too, but Minhyuk seemed so desperate, he decided to sacrifice himself for the sake of the greater good.

Though 10 minutes later they had both given up and were playing with the helium too, he felt like he had done good.

When Eunkwang arrived, they cheerfully sang him a happy birthday, and he thanked them, saying he loved them, and then chased all of them to kiss them on the forehead because "since I am the oldest, I can", Sungjae decided to keep on playing the good son (he would do anything to bring Ilhoon down today) and let him, and laughed at how Hyunsik was trying to fake not enjoying it, Ilhoon trying to escape saying he preferred dying than letting himself be kissed by _that_ ( _that_ referring here to our dear Eunkwang), Minhyuk wanting to do the same to Eunkwang, Changsub doing as if it had killed him, and Peniel acting like it was the worst punishment in the whole world. But at least, Eunkwang seemed really satisfied with himself.   
They ate the cake and it was awesome, they gave their gifts, happy to make Eunkwang happy, and Sungjae was glad because they let him drink, and he was even more glad that Changsub was drinking too (the latter had finally stopped taking medications!) and when he went home the next day, Sungjae didn't remember the end of the evening, but it didn't really matter, it had been a really joyful, but exhausting birthday, and he didn't know how he would survive Minhyuk's birthday a week later..

He had gotten home with Changsub who apparently didn't intend to leave him any time soon, not that it displeased Sungjae, rather, he was pretty happy.   
When he greeted his mother, she gave him a stare Sungjae interpreted as "no weird stuff in my house young man" and smiled, recalling how his parents hadn't been surprised when he had told them Changsub was his boyfriend now, his mother had mumbled something about always knowing it would end up like that (which had made Sungjae laugh), his father had only shrugged, saying he liked Changsub, which made Sungjae very happy. Because he had had a boyfriend before, and his parents had had trouble accepting him, they had broken up because they weren't really on the same page and Sungjae smelled trouble coming from him... but with Changsub it was very different, the latter always knew how to make him comfortable and was taking things so slow Sungjae found it cute, a bit frustrating, but he could deal with that...

Their friends lowkey all already knew so it hadn't been much fun telling them... but they had all cheered for them saying stuff like they had been waiting for this moment for a long time.

Sungjae went back to reality when Changsub unexpectedly kissed him, laughing at his confused face because he had been too lost in his thoughts to notice him, and Sungjae smiled back, loving how Changsub's shining smile was contagious and he couldn't help but smile wildly at him, and Changsub dragged him to the bed saying he wanted to cuddle, because he had slept so badly at Minhyuk's, Sungjae's bed would make up for it, which made Sungjae laugh, Changsub was cute. 

He woke up feeling like something was pushing him, he opened his eyes, faced with Changsub's wild face, he was kneeling on the bed, trying to turn him around:  
\- What exactly are you trying to do??  
\- Oh Sungjae... did I wake you up? Oh sorry...

Sungjae might have been misinterpreting, but he did not seem sorry at all, he added:  
\- You snored like crazy so I was trying to move you...

Sungjae chuckled and grabbed Changsub's arm, motioning for him lie back down, he took the big spoon role, commenting:  
\- You know, you snore sometimes too, I never complain...  
\- Yes, but unlike _someone_ I don't sound like I am a bear who caught a cold...

Sungjae laughed, huddling Changsub closer to him, kissing the back of his head (the closest part of his body he had) and whispering a soft "how did I even fell in love with you...", before closing his eyes again, ready to fall back asleep.

A sleep he did not get as Changsub suddenly realized it was already late and he needed to go home, and though Sungjae didn't want him to go, he left asserting that he needed to work because his exams were coming up...

 

_6 other months later:_

Sungjae couldn't believe he was already 18... He smiled at the wild Changsub who was handing him a gift, it was a small envelope, he opened it and only found a card saying: "Happy birthday crybaby!! Look up!!"

Sungjae did as told (written?) and looked up to Changsub acting cute saying his love was Sungjae's gift, Sungjae was torn between laughing and sighing at this... He chose laughing and went to kiss Changsub, who was now doing the flower, asking him if he was poor these days, to which Changsub answered that "love doesn't have a price!", ahh this guy really...  
\- What would you have done if I hadn't opened it right away?

Changsub smiled brightly at him:  
\- I would have followed you around all day waiting for when you'd open it...

Sungjae laughed and his heart skipped a beat because Changsub was way too cute, and though he really liked gifts, this one was just as awesome, as always, Changsub was great with gifts, even when he was broke...

\- Maybe we should head to my surprise birthday party now?

Changsub gasped, and Sungjae laughed, of course he already knew about that... He then took the older’s hand, taking the lead to go to Eunkwang's (it was always at Eunkwang's...) while Changsub was humming a birthday song to him.

They celebrated his birthday greatly, Sungjae was glad to have all of his friends there, Peniel who was ruffling his hair saying he had grown way too much, Hyunsik who was already eating, Eunkwang who was laughing at Hyunsik, Minhyuk who had his arm around him, saying he was proud of how his son had grown up, Ilhoon who was running around, trying to steal some of Hyunsik's food, and singing the birthday song in all the languages he knew, and of course, his Changsub, who was smiling fondly at him, and Sungjae couldn't be happier than right now...

##### THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!
> 
> So, here was the last chapter, I may or may not add another later, from changsub's pov, but I don't know whether I will write it or not yet...
> 
> So I guess you can consider this story over... Anyway, thanks a lot for reading it, I really don't know where it came from, but anyway, I'm glad I managed to finish it because I was like seriously stuck at some point...
> 
> Have a great day!!!! And week!!!!!!!


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